u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
