you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
