she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
