You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
