Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize