We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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