Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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