I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
