You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's official drugs can't kill me
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
