Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
