love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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