Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize