Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
