I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
