Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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