I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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