Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
