How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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