I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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