FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Little spoons don't ask big questions
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
True college students do jello shots in the library
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