I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
