Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
