If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize