McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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