this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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