I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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