community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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