Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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