So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize