Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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