Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
