you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
