I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
