I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
