My friends, they love my intelligence
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
