I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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