I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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