She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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