this just has baby written all over it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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