At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
