Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
