Your tits are I can't wait for
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
