it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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