C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
