Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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