he wants to bone in the snuggie
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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