$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just googled if crying burns calories
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Im part way to drunk.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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