She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
