we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize