she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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