whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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