when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
