It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
