Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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