We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
