That's intense
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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