OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize