Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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