Dual....:-)
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
