How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Randomize
