Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
