it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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