But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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