I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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