Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
